While we were waiting and waiting and waiting to take Tizita home, I started thinking back to the months we were waiting for Harold. The entire adoption process for Harold was only 18 months, shorter than Tizita's adoption by a year. So it was a bit easier to be patient but we were still a little anxious for him to be home especially after they e-mailed these photos:
This was one of the first pictures we got of Harold. He was good looking from the very beginning.
We didn't have a blog and there wasn't facebook in those days so we sent the photos off via e-mail to a few friends a family. One of C.O.'s college friends photoshopped that Dew bottle in there. Once upon a time C.O. was a crazy Mountain Dew addict. It's bad, bad stuff boys and girls. But it did make for a great gag photo.
Harold and his foster mom
This one earned him the nickname, "Mondo-Baby."
After this, we called him "The Little Fat Man" and we realized he had curly hair. *awe*
And finally we called him "Handsome Harold."
I am beyond releaved that there is no more waiting for us. We're together, we're a family of four, everything is as it should be . . . for now anyway. ;-)
The past two weeks have been the most exhausting days of my
life. Rushing to make travel arrangements and preparations for our time away from Brevig started the craziness. Then came the ridiculously long airplane
rides as we crossed 12 time zones to finally welcome Tizita into our
family.
Some final paperwork at the CWA office in Addis
The day after we arrived, it was time to pick up our baby girl. Before going to Acacia Village, we had just a little more paperwork to do. The paperwork for international adoption is extensive and overwhelming. I am thankful for agencies such as Christian World Adoption that guide you through each step to ensure you don't miss any little detail.
Saying goodbye at Acacia Village
Here are just a few of the staff members and volunteers at the amazing Acacia Village facility. The children are happy and well cared for both physically and emotionally. Tizita's nanny (not pictured) prayed over her before we left, asking for God's hand and protection in her life as well as patience and wisdom for us as her parents.
Everyone is smitten with Tizita.
These are a couple of the ladies who worked at the guest house where we were staying. Is it just me or are Ethiopian women exceptionally beautiful?
We had an appointment at the US embassy on Wednesday, had our gigantic stack of paperwork stamped and approved in a matter of a minute and were done, done, done with all that headache. Well, actually there's more to do but I will choose to ignore that for just another day or two.
On Friday night we turned around to tackle the grueling 15 hour flight back from Addis Ababa to Washington D.C. via Rome. We spent a couple nights in D.C. recovering from that flight. By Monday I was beginning to wonder if we'd ever make it home.
At Airport Pizza in Nome and almost home!
But at last we did get through the next few flights. Hey, I just noticed we were in Rome and Nome and home in just a matter of a few days. Cool.
Brother and Sister
Tizita meets her grandparents
C.O.'s folks, Mac and Mary stayed with Harold while we were away. We can't thank them enough for giving us the peace of mind knowing that Harold was in good hands. The day we came home they decorated the house with streamers and balloons and baked a cake to help welcome Tizita.
We have many very special memories of the whole experience. But the best part of all is just beginning!
We opened our e-mail from the US embassy sometime before midnight on Wednesday. They informed us that our case was approved and we were free to set up an appointment with them to finalize Tizita's immigration paperwork.
Since leaving her in January, each day has felt emotionally heavier and heavier in anticipation of this very e-mail and for the moment when we would be together as a family.
For the past two days we've been busy making arrangements. Our flights are booked but we still have much to do and loose ends
to tie up before we leave. It's a bit stressful but I'll take it knowing
our prize at the end of this journey.
Our Schedule:
March 22 - Depart Brevig Mission
March 24-25 - Washington D.C. shopping for baby supplies and donations
March 26 - Arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
March 27 - Tizita's Gotcha-Day and Meetings with our adoption agency.
March 28 - Embassy Appointment
March 30 - Leave Ethiopia
April 3 - Return to Brevig Mission with Tizita, Harold becomes a big brother
Despite our great joy, I also feel the frustration of some dear families who are still waiting to hear their bit of good news. The Olfert Family, The Boughner Family, The Baxter Family, The Cotton Family and The Griffin Family
are all on my mind today and every day. I pray that the Lord will give
them strength and peace to make it through until their children are on
their way home.
“O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed” Psalm 10:17-18a
No I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away ~Paul Simon
Once again we are thankful to have received photos of Tizita growing and thriving at Acacia Village. Today's batch was tons of fun.
She now has four teeth! Two on top and two on the bottom.
She looks so strong and about ready to take off on her own two feet.
Some of her facial expressions are great. I anxious to experience more of them first hand.
As for the business end of the adoption, we received an e-mail from the United States embassy yesterday notifying us that our paperwork had arrived at their office. They said we must wait five business days before contacting them about the status of our case. We should know more about our case sometime next week.
Our hope and prayer is that our next contact with the embassy will be a positive one. There's always the chance they will ask for more information or will find something wrong with our paperwork BUT if all goes well, we could be on our way back to Ethiopia in about three weeks. This is the best case scenario and we pray it is in God's plan for her to be home sooner rather than later.
Thank you everyone for your support and prayers! It means so much to us. Tizita will be part of an amazing network of loving, generous people.
A few people have recently asked if there was anything they could do to help us out with Tizita's adoption. All the prayers and good wishes have been a great help and encouragement to us, so first of all thank you for that. But there just happens to be a way for you to help in another capacity. The orphanages that care for waiting children need help obtaining some basic supplies.
The transitional house that Tizita is currently staying at asks that families bring donations to help cover some of the costs of caring for the children. We brought a few things on our last trip but would like to help out even more.
Unfortunately, donating via the Rudstroms is a bit of pain due to our remote location but there are a few options if you're interested.
1) Shop in person and ship it up.
2) Shop online and have the company ship for you.
or
3) If you live in Brevig, just drop it by our house
If you'd like to go with option two I suggest www.drugstore.com , they will ship to us for free if you spend $50 or more. I looked and they have quite a few options for formula and diapers there. And if you're an ebates member you will also receive 6% back on your drugstore purchases.
Update: A friend of mine had trouble with drugstore.com, they said the contents were too heavy and they would charge extra for shipping. Amazon , however, worked well for her.
It can take up to a month for items to reach us both through the USPS and even drugstore.com so we wanted to make sure and get this information out to you as soon as possible. We will hopefully be going back to Ethiopia sometime at the end of February or early March which is surprisingly just around the corner.
The basic donations need list:
diapers of all sizes
formula with iron
infant and toddler clothing
your extra plastic grocery bags could also be put to good use
*Diapers and formula are a higher priority than clothes but clothes are just plain more fun to buy.
I'm not sure how many of you will send donations but I'm going to think and hope big. No matter how much is sent to us we will find a way to get it to Ethiopia. One of the adoptive families traveling at the same time as us had waivers from the airlines to check extra bags of donations for free. So excess baggage shouldn't be a problem.
Please spread the word and share this with anyone who might be interested in donating. The gifts of others before us has helped our adoption and sweet, sweet Tizita. I pray that we (you and I) can be a blessing to those who are still to come on this amazing journey of adoption.
The first hour that Harold was our child, four years ago in Guatemala, he was incredibly hungry. His foster mother, in her great distress over saying goodbye to Harold that day, had forgotten his formula. By the time the formalities of the "transfer" meeting were over, we had one fussy baby on our hands. Room service was the surest and fastest way to get food to our room and into the belly of our chubby little guy. That is how it happened that Harold had french fries and tortilla soup for his first meal as a Rudstrom.
During our most recent trip to Guatemala, we stayed in the same hotel as we did on our first trip and called room service. Shortly after, french fries and tortilla soup were delivered as we relived our first minutes as parents.
On Saturday we once again relived our first day as parents. We cuddled in bed in the morning telling Harold our memories from that day. Saturday the 22nd was Harold's fourth annual Gotcha Day, a day to celebrate.
We experimented with fondant,
invited some oh so fun people over,
ate some delicious food and watched our adoption journey video.
Happy Gotcha Day young man. We are thankful for you each and every day.
Hard to believe that three years ago today our lives changed forever. This beautiful child was handed over to us to care for and love. Turns out there's a whole lot of people who love him as well.
Happy Adoption Day Harold, we're so glad we gotcha!
I wanted to introduce a truly wonderful woman who played a big part in Harold's life. Meet Harold's foster mom, Berta Alisa. She is the woman who cared for Harold from the day he came home from the hospital until he was 9 months old. To her we will forever be grateful. Those first few days and months of life are so critical in the development of healthy children. They need proper nutrition, stimulation and a loving environment in which they are bonding with a primary caregiver.
The day we got Harold we shed many tears, but not for us but for Berta Alisa. It was an emotional day for her as she knew she was saying a final good-bye to Harold and to her job of mothering him. She had woken up at 5 a.m. and had cried steadily until noon, "He feels like my own," she said. She told us that he was a very special boy, that anyone who meets him, loves him. It didn't take long for us to realize this was without a doubt true. We also laughed as she had concerns about how old we were since we looked too young to be parents. =)
She knew this day would come from the beginning. This was her role, the mom in the middle so to speak. And she fulfilled her duties perfectly. Her love, care and attention shone through in the little boy we brought home. We commented to the case workers at our adoption agency how amazingly quick Harold bonded with us and how easy of a transition we had taking him home. They attribute this primarily to his excellent foster care. If a child is attached to one caregiver, it make attaching to another easy and natural. It seems backwards, that perhaps an unattached child would be easier to bond with but it's not. Attachment is something that needs to be experienced, practiced and nurtured.
It was because of this foster system that we were particularly drawn to the Guatemalan adoption process. It made it much more expensive than other countries but was much better for Harold than if he would have spent his first months in an orphanage.
My thoughts have turned to Berta Alisa lately because of the promise we made her. We promised to send her photos and perhaps even videos of Harold growing up. I am ashamed to say that we have only sent photos twice! Just this week C.O. sent her another batch of pictures and a painting done by Harold. I've recommitted myself to be better about this and to keeping in touch with her. My hope is that one day our Spanish will be better and perhaps we can meet again. She sincerely wanted the very best future for Harold and I want to make sure she knows he is growing up healthy, strong and intelligent.
We talk to Harold about how lucky he is to have 3 moms. His biological mother, his foster mother and now his real (adoptive) mother. I'm the one who has him for the rest of his life, but it is because of the two who have come before that we have our perfect little blessing.
We've been asked by a few people how the adoption is going. I thought I'd share the latest here. It's really not all that exciting, primarily paperwork tasks. So, if you quit reading right now, I wouldn't blame you. It's enough to say, we're working on it.
The Dossier: we have to gather a pretty large amount of paperwork for this. Once it is all together, it will be reviewed by our adoption agency, then sent to Ethiopia. It is not until then that we can be considered for adoption in Ethiopia.
Here's some parts of the dossier:
The Home Study, a social worker has met with us and determined that we are indeed a fit family for a child. She will write up a report stating that. Included in her report: letters from a physician that we are healthy enough state police background checks letters of recommendation from our friends (thanks to Sara, thanks to Jim for helping us out with that btw).
We will also turn in three years of tax records fingerprints for background checks done by the FBI letters of employment a letter of good standing from our bank and a determination of when our child will be covered by our insurance.
We are also required to take a few classes about adoption, read a book called, "Adoption Parenting" and make a plan of support that includes resources we can call on should our child have any physical or emotional issues.
We keep plugging away at it, little by little and waiting for everything to go through the system.
It's a lot easier than last time, since we know what to expect. I think we have less anxiety than with Harold's adoption. We know it is a slow process and worrying about it won't make anything go quicker. She'll get here, when she gets here. We know it's not within our control. And so we wait.
Now I'm not a super sappy, cry-y sort of person, but this music video got to me. It can be a tough waiting game for children without parents and for the people on the other end who are willing to wade through the paperwork muck to give them a home.
This morning, out of the blue, came this revelation.
Harold: Mommy, Daddy I have a story.
Us: O.K. go ahead.
Harold: When I was born I had a different Mommy and Daddy and they couldn't keep me. Then, then, then you came and picked me up and took me home.
--A moment of shocked silence--
C.O.: That's right and we're happy we could get you. We love you very much and we're glad we're a family.
Hugs and kisses all around.
Harold: I'm hungry now.
We have never sat down and "told" Harold that he was adopted. In fact, I doubt he knows that word, adopted. But we talk about the concept all the time. We point Guatemala out on maps, always referring to it as his birthplace. We read a book called "Adoption Day" about a couple getting their child after a long plane ride. When we're around obviously pregnant ladies we tell Harold he was never in my tummy, he was in a different mommy's tummy. It's all just a part of our reality. It appears to be all coming together for him, before the age of three! We're blown away by it. Harold continually reminds me that children understand far more than we give them credit for.
We don't want his story to be a mystery to him or anyone in Harold's life. Even before he could understand, we would tell him his adoption story. It's obviously paying off.
Our hope is that the days of adoption being hidden, secretive, something slightly shameful in society is over. We hope that adoptive parents and children will be proud of their past and unique story. They have been loved by so many people, their birth parents, perhaps foster parents, adoptive parents, each doing what they thought was best for these special little people.
C.O. and I had a court date set for today. The business at hand was to finalize Harold's adoption in Alaska. It was all complete in Guatemala but needed to be done in the U.S. as well. Fortunately, we were not required to be at the Nome courtroom in person. We were able to do everything over the phone. We rose when the judge entered, raised our right hands, took an oath, the whole bit. Everything went just fine and one of the final stages in Harold's adoption is close to completion.
